Why Is “Proof” Important in DV situation?

DomesticViolence Having lived through many years of domestic violence, I always thought that physical abuse was just that, physical; after reading “Why Does He Do That” by: Lundy Bancroft, I have since found that, if you are in fear for your life or the lives of your children, it is deemed “physical abuse.” So, having lived through every type of abuse there is, I believe we need to bring awareness to the issue of Domestic Violence, Intimate Partner Violence and Child Abuse.  The way I see it, abusers get away with it way more than they should!  We shouldn’t keep quiet and THEY shouldn’t get way with it!

When I was leaving my ex, I told my attorney that he had been abusive, to me and to my then 5 year-old son.  My attorney’ response, “Can you prove it?” Of course, I couldn’t, but there should have been an investigation! He made me allow my abuser to take my child, whenever he felt like it! Luckily, it’s been long enough, and my son is old enough, that he makes his own decisions regarding this.  My point is, I think when someone makes an abuse allegation, especially to their own attorney, the attorney should be obligated to look into it before making any kind of arrangement.  Because, who pays for it? The victim!! In this case, my son!

If there is one piece of advice I can leave to those who are still in this kind of situation, getting out or are out, DOCUMENT everything!! I wish I had done that while I was still married because there would have been proof.  Things may have still turned out the same, but at least I would’ve had what I needed.


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